A small-town human disaster of a cop is turned into a werewolf, but he’s not gonna let that stop him from doing his job.
Lowell Dean, 2014
Even in his small town, Lou Garou (Leo Fafard) is the least capable cop in his little sheriff’s department. He’s a very, very bad cop, far outshone by colleague Tina (Amy Matysio). At least the local bartender Jessica (Sarah Lind) likes him – though that’s hardly surprising, given how much of his time and money he spends there. One evening, after getting black-out drunk, Lou wakes up in his own bed with some alarming symptoms. There’s an upside-down pentagram carved into his chest, for one thing. As the alarming symptoms progress to things like – I’m not kidding – developing a wolf dick, Lou discovers that he is, in fact, a werewolf. With the help of his best friend, gun shop owner and conspiracy nut Willie Higgins (Jonathan Cherry), Lou uses his newfound abilities to become a more effective, if significantly more violent, cop. Investigating his situation, he starts to realise that he’s been turned into a werewolf in order to serve a sinister purpose.
So apparently WolfCop was a thing that happened. I knew absolutely nothing about it when we started watching except a) the title, and b) it’s something of a tradition to watch bad horror movies on Halloween. It took me a long time to place this film in cinematic history – it was made in 2014, but with the exception of one or two moments, it could easily have been made at any point between 1980 and now. It’s shot terribly, with shots that are off-centre or missing the focal point most of the time and special effects that are…decidedly special. It takes a surprisingly long time to get into a decent groove, considering the film’s thin plot and short runtime. I had a hard time sustaining my interest for about the first 45 minutes, which sets up the two-dimensional characters and…well, honestly, I don’t know if it was trying to get the audience invested in Lou’s journey, but if it was trying it wasn’t working. He starts this movie not only an awful character, but an awful actor. There’s also the fact that each character is given approximately two character traits, one of which is often not so much a character trait as a quirk of appearance. Willie literally wears his entire personality in his wardrobe – he wears about 4 shirts/jackets in every shot, just so you know that he’s the town Gun Nut Conspiracy Weirdo.
But then Willie locks Lou up in a jail cell during his transformation and there’s some homoerotic overtures and Lou finally goes full werewolf, and the film finally gets going. From that point on it’s becomes a properly tongue-in-cheek B-movie for about the rest of the film. Lou says the film’s title, full-on pimps out his cop car in wolf style at Stiles Automotive (a nod to Teen Wolf the movie, which is clearly a spiritual predecessor to this film, if one with more heart), and goes to town on the bad guys. There are some terrific practical effects in the werewolf transformations and the fight scenes, which go properly over-the-top in their gross-out gore. The film’s twist is appropriately bonkers, even if it leads to a sadly disappointing and anti-climactic finale. The film just kind of…stops, which is a shame, because it feels like there’s more in this concept than just the few puns they manage to get out of it (they seemed to really be building up to their “I’m the fuzz” line, which is the tagline on one of the posters). They definitely have the grindhouse spirit going, managing some fun stuff with their low budget, but ultimately it’s a little too light. Still better than Samurai Cop, though.
WolfCop on IMDb