In an alternate world where you can get a timer implanted to tell you exactly how long it will be until you meet your soulmate, Oona (Emma Caulfield) struggles with what to do with her life without the knowledge of when she will meet The One.
Jac Schaeffer, 2009
This movie is a sort of romantic sci-fi in which there is an alternate present where people can get timers implanted in their wrists which go off when you meet your true love. Orthodontist Oona’s timer is blank, which means the love of her life hasn’t gotten a timer yet, while her stepsister/roommate/bestie Steph (Michelle Borth, spunky and charming) has a timer that lets her know she won’t meet hers until she’s 43. Meanwhile, their poor younger brother is only 14 and finds out he’s going to meet the love of his life in three days. Steph makes the most of her situation by having as much sex as she can get with hot guys whose timers are close to going off, while Oona obsesses over her blank timer, bringing guy after guy to the timer store to get one (and visiting Kali Rocha in the process, which makes each visit a fun vengeance demon reunion) until a check out boy flirts with her and they start an unusual relationship.
It’s pretty low-budget, visibly so, but the conceit is an interesting enough one to sustain a film and they explore a lot of different avenues with the timers. Emma Caulfield (yes, I did mostly know about this movie because of her involvement) is quirky and fragile, and she and John Patrick Amedori have a nice chemistry as the mismatched lovers (and it is refreshing to see a positive relationship between an older woman and a younger man). Michelle Borth is the highlight of the film as Oona’s brittle stepsister, trying so hard not to be angry or bitter about her long wait for love and bringing humour and fun into their lives. The ending feels…hasty, too obvious, but that’s not really a surprise. The jokes aren’t funny and the writing is more concerned with the timers than the characters, who all seem to build their lives around either having or not having them. It wasn’t really engaging a lot of the time, and there enough more gay jokes and moments of tokenism to make me uncomfortable. I haven’t even been able to concentrate on writing this review.
In spite of my interminable singleness, I found it hard to relate to Oona’s relentless obsession with her timer or her attraction to a guy whose first introduction to her is an offensive joke. I found myself frustrated with the character a lot of the time, and not in an interesting, flawed way. I also spent a lot of time wondering if the movie was going to get somewhere, only I realised when it did that I wasn’t that interested in where it was going. It’s not a bad little indie movie, it just didn’t really appeal to me all that much. I spent more time wanting to like it than actually liking it, and almost no time thinking about it once it was done.
TiMER on IMDb